Confidence in Midlife: How to Own Your Value and Thrive at Work and Beyond

Okay, let's get real for a minute. Have you ever sat in a meeting and thought, did they even see me anymore?Maybe you offered an idea and 10 minutes later someone else repeated it, and suddenly it was brilliant.Or maybe you looked around the room and you noticed the opportunities, the projects, the spotlight were all landing on people, say, 20 years younger, and you caught yourself wondering, do they see my 25 years of experience as wisdom, or do they just see my age? I'll be honest. I've had that moment more than once. And it stings, because deep down, you know you bring value.You know, you've kept things running, you've solved problems, you've mentored people. But when you start to feel invisible at work, those little whispers, they kind of creep in. Am I still valuable? Do I still matter here?If you've ever felt that, then, friend, you're in the right place today, because we're pulling the covers off that question. And by the end of this episode, I want you walking away, not just knowing that you're valuable, but knowing how to show up like you're valuable.

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Welcome to Aging with Grace and Style, the podcast where we embrace midlife with confidence, courage, and maybe even a little sass. I'm Valerie, and around here, we talk about the real stuff, the questions that you whisper to yourself, but you don't always say it out loud.And we remind each other that our best chapters aren't behind us. They're happening right now. So go ahead, grab your coffee, your tea, or if it's been one of those weeks, even a glass of wine. And let's dive in.All right, let's start with some truth. Ageism in the workplace is real. But here's the other truth that's harder to admit.Sometimes the loudest voice telling us that we're not valuable anymore is our own. I'll give you an example. My friend Sarah. She's 58, with over three decades in marketing.So she told me that she almost didn't speak up in a strategy meeting because she worried that her ideas would seem too old school. But when she finally did, her suggestion ended up saving the company more than $50,000. Why?Because she remembered a failed campaign from years ago that the younger folks were about to repeat. That wasn't old school. That was wisdom. That was experience paying off in real time. But here's what gets me.She almost kept that brilliance to herself. And she's not alone. I have heard this over and over again from women in our age group. And you know what else stings?When there's a project or maybe an opportunity that you would have been perfect for, and you're not even asked what's the first thing that we think it's because of my age, they don't see me anymore. Now, sometimes that might be true. Ageism is real, as we said. But sometimes it's not.Sometimes there are other factors, and we'll never know all the reasons. But here's the danger. It's so easy to slip into that mindset where every closed door feels like it's about our age. And that's a heavy way to live.That kind of thinking, it can make us paranoid, cause us to second guess ourselves, and even stop us from raising our hand the next time. And before long, we're not just being overlooked, we're overlooking ourselves. Let's talk about that spiral for a second.Because once those whispers start, they can snowball fast. So there was an opportunity that came my way once. And my first instinct was, maybe I'm not the right fit anymore. Maybe they'd prefer someone younger.I nearly aged myself out of it before I even gave myself a chance. But here's what I realized. The very thing I was doubting, which was my experience, was exactly what they needed.Not the shiniest new skill, not the fastest hand with the latest app, but the ability to see the big picture, to anticipate roadblocks, to navigate personalities and politics with grace. Those are the things you only learn by living it. And you know what happened?That opportunity turned out to be one of the most successful things that I've been part of, not despite my age, but because of it. But here's the pattern I see, and maybe you've noticed it in yourself, too. We focus on what we don't know instead of celebrating what we do.We see a younger colleague who's quick with a new tool, and we think, I could never keep up with that. But what if we flip the story?What if we thought, she can show me that shortcut and I can show her how to build, let's say, a client relationship that actually lasts. That's the trap of self doubt. It convinces us that new automatically means better, and seasoned automatically means outdated.But seasoned doesn't mean outdated. Seasoned means you've weathered recessions, reorganizations, bosses who were great and bosses who weren't, and somehow you kept moving.That's not a weakness. That's resilience. I once had coffee with a career coach who put it this way.She said, your generation, ours, learned to solve problems without shortcuts. You couldn't just Google your way out of a challenge. You had to think, think. You had to get creative.That's a skill that can't be taught in a webinar. And you know what? She was right.The very things that we sometimes dismiss as old school, the patience, the judgment, the creativity that comes from decades of trial and error, those are the exact things that organizations need right now. They just may not realize it until we start owning it out loud. Let me share a story from outside of corporate life.I have told you before, I lead the social media team at my church and most of my team, okay, all of my team is younger than me. Now, I know how to navigate social media probably better than a lot of people my age. But I'd be lying if I said I never had thought.Maybe they're the ones who should be leading the creative ideas because they're younger and trendier. And for a moment, I almost let that insecurity take root. But then it hit me. One of my real strengths isn't just doing the work myself.It's building a team. It's putting out the best in other people and leaning into their strengths. My value wasn't about being the most creative voice in the room.It was about creating the environment where everyone's creativity could shine. That's what experience gives you the ability to see the bigger picture, to draw out talent and to know when to step forward and when to step back.And when I leaned into that, our team just didn't just get more creative, in my opinion. We got stronger together. And that's the shift that I want you to hear today. Instead of asking, am I still valuable?Let's flip the question to how do I showcase my value in ways that matter most? Well, since you asked, here are four ways that you can do just that. Number one, shift from proving to positioning.For so long, we felt like we had to prove that we could keep up working harder. Saying later, saying yes to everything but proving keeps you in a defensive posture.Positioning, on the other hand, says, here's where I add the most value. Here's where my wisdom shines.Stop proving you belong and start positioning yourself as the strategist, the steady hand, the one who brings perspective when everyone else is chasing shiny objects. Number two, choose your lane of relevance. Now, here's the truth. You don't have to be an expert in everything.You don't have to download every app, learn every buzzword, or chase every new certification. Pick one or two areas that actually matter for your role, and stay sharp there. Let the rest go. That way, you're not scattered. You're strategic.You'll be surprised how much confidence that brings. Number three. Translate your wins into stories. Facts fade, but stories, they stick.You can tell your boss, I improved efficiency by 10%, and that's fine.But if you say, I remembered a similar challenge five years ago, tried an approach that we used back then, and it saved our team hours of work, that story lingers. It paints a picture of your value.Now practice turning your accomplishments into short, memorable stories that people will remember when decisions are being made. Number four. Create reciprocity, not hierarchy. I love this one. Don't just mentor down, and don't just try to prove up.Build relationships that are mutual.Maybe you offer to mentor a younger colleague in negotiation while asking them to show you the latest dashboard tool that creates collaboration instead of competition. And suddenly, your value isn't just recognized. Hey, it's sought out.These four shifts, positioning instead of proving, choosing your lane, translating your wins, and creating reciprocity will change how you see yourself and how others see you. Now, let's talk about resetting our confidence. Because even when we know our value, those doubts, they creep back in. I want to tell you about Linda.She's 62 and. And she works in financial services.When I first talked with her, she was convinced that her company was going young and that she'd eventually be pushed aside. She told me, valerie, I just don't think they see me anymore. Fast forward six months, and Linda was promoted to senior vice president.Same company, same woman. So what changed? It wasn't her skills. It wasn't her resume. What changed was how she showed up.Linda stopped trying to prove that she could keep up with the younger employees. She stopped apologizing for not knowing every new tool immediately. And instead, she leaned into her wisdom.She started framing her input with phrases like based on what I've seen in three previous downturns or having navigated five major regulatory changes, my recommendation is. Notice what she did there. She didn't announce her age. She positioned her experience as a competitive advantage. And here's the magic.Once she started doing that, her younger colleagues actually began seeking her out for advice. She became the go to voice in the room. Now, that's the confidence reset that I want you to hear. Confidence isn't about knowing everything.Confidence isn't about keeping up with every shiny new trend, confidence is about owning what you do know while staying open to learning what you need. And I'll say this again, because I want it to stick. You are not behind. You are seasoned. And seasoned means you've got depth.You've got flavor, You've got perspective. You can spot patterns that others miss. And that, my friend, is exactly what workplaces need right now.Not just fresh ideas, but seasoned judgment to know which ideas will actually stand the test of time. So let's bring this all home. We started today with that question. So many of us whisper to ourselves, am I still valuable at work?And we've kind of walked through the doubts, the stories, and the reframes that prove the answer is definitely yes. But I don't just want you to leave this episode nodding along. I want you to carry something with you this week.So here are three reminders that I want you to tuck into your back pocket. First, stop proving. Start positioning. You don't have to exhaust yourself trying to prove that you can keep up.Instead, position yourself as the strategist, the voice of wisdom, the one who sees the big picture. That's your power lane. Second, pick your lane of relevance. You don't need to chase every trend or learn every tool.Choose one or two things that matter for your role and lean into those. Let the rest go. Relevance is strategic. It's not scattered. Third, confidence isn't about knowing everything. It's about owning your value.You have wisdom that can't be downloaded, Googled, or even taught in a training session. And that wisdom. It's exactly what workplaces need. Here's your homework.I want you to write down three moments in your career where your experience made the difference. Where your perspective. Or maybe your history saved time, solved a problem, or steadied the team. Keep that list close.And then this week, I want you to find one way to share one of those stories. Maybe it's sharing in a meeting. Maybe it's mentoring a colleague. Maybe it's just reminding yourself before you walk into work.Because here's the truth. Your value hasn't expired. It's multiplied. And the more you own it, the more others will see it.Friend, if you've been doubting yourself, let me say this plain. Yes, you are valuable. You're not fading. You're not seasoned. You're not behind.You're exactly where you're meant to be, with the gifts the world still needs. So this week, walk into your workplace with your head high, your shoulders back, your confidence front and center, because they need you.And you need to believe that too. Until next time, keep shining, keep thriving, and keep being unapologetically you. Thanks for hanging out with me today.If you love this episode, do me a favor, share it with a friend and leave a quick review. It's a small thing that makes a big difference. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. And hey, let's keep the conversation going.Join me at pod.agingwithgraceinstyle.com for more tips, stories, and a whole lot of connection. Until next time, keep shining. With grace, style, and a touch of sass, it.