Hormones After 50: Why You Feel So Off

Let me tell you what happened to me a while ago.

I woke up at about 3:07am completely drenched, not a little warm, not kick the covers off and go back to sleep.

I mean, change the pajamas, flip the pillow, stand in front of the fan, kind of drenched.

Finally, I fell back asleep around 5:30am the alarm goes off at 6:30.

I got up exhausted, was in an irritated mood and snapping over something ridiculous.

Looked in the mirror, my eyes were puffy, tried to button my jeans and they barely cooperated.

And I remember standing there thinking, I'm eating the same, I'm exercising, I'm doing everything right.

So why does it feel like everything is falling apart?

Is this stress?

Is this aging?

Is this hormones?

Am I losing it?

If you've had a moment like that, then this episode is for you.

Today we're pulling hormones out of the shadows.

We're not whispering, we're not dramatizing, we're not minimizing.

We're talking about it like the grown women that we are, living our best life.

It's good to be alive, but it's best to truly live.

Let your spirit bright celebrate the journey every single day.

Aging with grace and style in our own special way.

Foreign welcome to Aging with Grace and Style, where we name what's real, normalize what's hard, and explore what's possible for women over 50 without the pressure to reinvent themselves.

I'm Valerie, and today we're talking about what happens when your hormones start quietly rearranging your entire life.

Because if your sleep, mood, weight, focus, or patience feels different, you're not crazy, you're not weak, and you're not failing at coping.

Now let's unpack what's actually happening.

First, let's clear something up, something that I recently learned while researching this topic.

Menopause is technically one day.

It's the day that marks 12 months since your last period.

That's it.

But perimenopause, that's the messy transition leading up to it.

And that can last years.

During perimenopause, your hormones don't decline in a smooth, graceful slope.

It's more like a rollercoaster.

Estrogen up one day, down the next, progesterone fluctuating, testosterone slowly declining too.

And yes, women need that.

And here's something important.

When we say menopause is one day, that doesn't mean everything magically goes back to normal after that day.

You know, when I read that, I was thinking, well, this must be an awfully long day.

But after menopause, you Move into what's called post menopause.

The wild swings usually calm down, but your hormone levels stay lower.

Some symptoms can brain fog.

Sleep changes, joint stiffness, body composition shifts.

It's not chaos anymore, but it's a new normal.

And that doesn't mean you suffer.

It just means you adjust differently.

Now here's the part that we aren't taught.

Estrogen affects way more than your reproductive system.

It impacts mood, sleep, brain clarity, temperature regulation, fat distribution, even joint comfort.

Progesterone helps you feel calm and sleep deeply.

Testosterone supports muscle mass, energy and libido.

So when those shift, everything feels off.

And here's the frustrating part.

Everything affects everything.

You can't sleep because of night sweats.

When you don't sleep, your body holds on to weight.

When you gain weight, you feel worse.

When you feel worse, your stress goes up.

When stress goes up, your sleep gets worse.

It's like all the dominoes fall at once.

This is chemistry shifting, not character failing.

Okay, so yes, there are hot flashes.

But let's talk about the things that blindsided me.

One is the rage.

Not slightly irritable.

I mean, feeling anger that surprises even you.

And then thinking, who was that?

Then there's the anxiety.

Even if you've never been anxious before, suddenly your heart is racing.

At night, you wake up wired.

The joint pain, you wake up.

Stiff knees ache, shoulders feel inflamed, the brain fog.

And if you want a deeper dive on that, go back and listen to my recent episode called brain fog.

Over 50.

Is this normal forgetfulness or something more?

Because in that episode, we unpack what it feels like and why it's happening.

But just know, if you're walking into rooms, forgetting why you went in there, searching for simple words, rereading emails three times, then you're not alone.

And then there are the more private changes, like dryness, discomfort, libido shifts, and the weight, especially around the middle.

You're doing the same things, but your body isn't responding the same way.

And that can feel like betrayal, like your own body has turned on you.

Here's what nobody's talking about.

You can feel too much and not enough at the same time.

Too emotional, too reactive, too sensitive.

And also not enough energy, not enough patience, not enough focus.

It messes with your identity.

And then comes the shame spiral.

I should be handling this better.

Or why can't I get it together?

I'm scaring people.

Let me normalize something.

Midlife is a massive internal transition.

Your hormones are shifting, your roles may be shifting, your body is Shifting, of course, your nervous system feels stretched.

And can I tell you something that helped me more than anything?

It was talking to my friends the first time I said out loud, are y' all not sleeping?

And often feel like there's an internal fireplace in your body?

And every friend at the table nodded, girl, yes.

I felt immediate relief.

It was like the shame of going through this or even the confusion of what was going on, it started to go away.

Because when your circle is going through it, you realize it isn't a personal failure.

It's biology.

So talk about it.

Find your women.

Say the uncomfortable thing first.

It really does change everything.

So now let's adjust gently.

I'm not about to hand you a 40 step plan.

Just a few simple suggestions.

First, have a conversation with a provider who takes midlife women seriously.

You can say something like, could this be hormonal?

Or what are my options?

Or even what support is appropriate for me?

For some women, hormone replacement therapy is life changing.

I know it works well for me, but for others is not appropriate.

The point isn't one solution.

The point is that you have options and you deserve to be heard now.

Lifestyle support.

Simple and realistic.

Protect your sleep.

Have a cool room.

Did you know that there are now mattress covers that are temperature regulated so you can have your own cooling system on your side of the bed?

And if I were to have one, then my poor husband wouldn't be about to freeze.

He could regulate his side of the bed too.

I haven't invested in that yet, but I have a friend who has one.

Another thing you can do is wind down earlier, watch caffeine timing and move your body daily.

Not a punishment, just movement.

Lift weights if you can, because muscle matters more now.

Eat enough protein, support your blood sugar, and stress management is not optional anymore.

I know it's hard with everything that we have going on, but we all need to try to manage that stress, however that looks for you.

It could be walking, journaling, therapy, quiet time.

It matters.

But please hear me pick one thing, not everything.

We are not trying to reinvent ourselves.

We're just adjusting.

And you don't have to suffer silently.

Bring people into it.

You can say to your spouse or your family, my body is going through hormonal changes.

If I seem off, it's not about you.

I'm navigating something physical.

You can also say, I'm more tired than usual.

I just need a little space.

Can you help me with this without apologizing?

This isn't weakness, it's communication.

So let me leave you with this.

Your body is not betraying you.

It's transitioning.

And transitions are messy.

But messy doesn't mean broken.

Post menopause doesn't mean perfect.

It means different.

And different can still be strong.

You are not too old.

You are in a season of recalibration.

So this week, do one thing.

Write down one question for your doctor or choose one small sleep or movement shift.

Or call a friend and say, is this happening to you two, Just one.

Because you don't need reinvention.

You just need recognition.

And your body, it deserves compassion, not criticism.

Now, next week we're talking about what happens when the world starts treating you like you've aged out.

Hello, invisibility and what we're going to do about it.

Until then, be gentle with yourself.

You're navigating something real and you're not alone.

And remember, we do this with grace, with style, and yes, with a touch of sass.

I'll talk to you next week.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

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Until next time, keep shining with grace, style and a touch of sass.