Midlife Reset: Finding Peace, Balance, and Joy This Fall Season After 50

Anybody else feel like fall showed up with a whole to do list?

One minute you're trying to squeeze the last bit of sunshine out of summer, and the next, Boom.

Deadlines, meetings, family plans, and about 15 other things to do.

Everybody, well, except for those of us in Texas, where it's still hot, is posting cozy pictures with candles and sweaters.

And I'm over here thinking I can't even find my other shoe if that's you too.

This episode is for us.

Because instead of chasing balance or pretending we've got it all figured out, I want to talk about what it really means to hit reset when life's doing the most Living our best life.

It's good to be alive, but it's best to true that your spirit fly Celebrate the journey every single day Aging with Grace and Style in our own special way.

Welcome to Aging with Grace and Style, the podcast where we talk about living confidently, intentionally, and yes, with a little humor through every season of life.

Valerie I'm Valerie and today we're keeping it real about what it means to pause recenter and get back to you before the holidays hit full speed.

Can we be honest?

Fall sounds peaceful in theory.

Cool air, cozy nights, warm drinks.

But for a lot of us, it's anything but calm.

Work ramps up, you know.

Fourth quarter is busy for a lot of people.

Church events stack up, family calendars fill up, and suddenly October to December feels like one long sprint.

Every year I tell myself this fall I'm slowing down, and every year I don't.

I pile on projects.

I say yes when I should probably say let me check my schedule.

And then I wonder why I'm so exhausted before Thanksgiving even shows up.

Just to give you an idea of how crazy it's been, I was telling my husband the other day I haven't been home for a full month.

In months, between work trips, family visits, and everything else, I'm home maybe two, three weeks before I'm back out on the road.

No wonder I feel like I am constantly catching up.

Now don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but even good things can drain you.

When you don't stop long enough to breathe, that's when I know it's time for a reset.

When people talk about a reset, it sounds fancy.

Like vision boards, goal sheets, color coded calendars, and hey, I love a good planner moment.

But sometimes a reset is as simple as realizing I've been running on fumes.

For me, it looks like clearing off my desk so I can see it again, lighting a candle before I answer emails, taking 10 quiet minutes in the morning before I start talking to people.

A real reset doesn't require a weekend retreat.

It's those small pauses that remind you you're a person, not a machine.

Here's something that's helped me lately.

I've started asking myself three questions when I feel scattered.

And here they are.

What's draining me, what's feeding me, and what can I let go of?

And let me tell you how I realized I needed this.

I went to get a massage recently just to relax and unwind all the things.

And girl, I swear I spent the first 45 minutes thinking about what I needed to do.

My mind was racing.

I was mentally answering emails, planning dinner, checking my calendar all in my head while someone was literally rubbing my shoulders.

That's when it hit me.

My body was on the table, but my brain was still on the clock.

That's not rest.

That's why this reset isn't just about slowing your schedule down.

It's also about quieting your mind.

Here's the part that I love finding grounding in the ordinary stuff so you don't have to meditate for an hour or redecorate your house to feel calm.

Sometimes grounding is turning off the noise and doing something small that feels like you.

Maybe it's sitting on your porch with your coffee before the day starts.

Maybe it's taking the long way home with your favorite playlist on.

For me, it's quiet mornings when the house is deal that first sip of coffee, maybe a little time with my Bible app, or just gratitude for another day.

It's also knowing when to say no.

I used to think saying yes was polite, but I've learned that protecting my peace is polite too, especially to myself.

And can we talk about guilt for a second?

Because it's sneaky.

Even when we slow down, we start feeling bad about it.

Like I should be doing something I caught myself doing that I finally was sitting down and then instantly reaching for my phone or my laptop.

It's like we've forgotten how to be still.

The other night, I wasn't feeling well.

I think I ate or drank something that didn't sit right with my stomach.

So I told myself, okay, Valerie, you can lay on the sofa, watch TV and do no work when I tell you.

It was so hard for me.

I kept glancing toward my computer, thinking about emails I should send or things I could check off my list.

My body was saying rest, but my brain was saying produce.

And that's when I realized sometimes rest isn't about our schedule.

It's about retraining our mindset.

So here's what I'm reminding myself this Fall Grace over guilt.

Always.

You don't have to earn your rest.

You don't have to justify your peace.

You can stop, breathe and enjoy the moment without explaining yourself.

If your laundry is still in the basket, but your mind feels lighter, then you're doing it right before we wrap up today, I want to leave you with a little fall check in.

Just a few questions to help you think about what your own reset might look like.

So maybe jot them down later or just think about them while you're driving.

Or folding laundry.

When's the last time that you really slowed down without guilt?

Are you running on fumes right now?

And what actually refills your cup?

And here's my favorite what can you let go of this season?

You don't have to have perfect answers.

The goal is just to notice where you've been running and where you can start breathing again.

So before you go rushing into the rest of your week, take a second and think about what your reset could look like.

It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be yours.

Maybe it's clearing your space.

Maybe it's saying no.

Maybe it's giving yourself permission to do absolutely nothing and enjoy it.

But whatever it is, let this be your little fall reminder.

You can't pour from empty.

You deserve a minute to breathe.

Say it with me.

I can't pour from empty.

I deserve a minute to breathe.

And before we close, I want to give you a little fall check in to help you think about your own reset.

So maybe grab a notebook later.

Or just keep these things in mind during your week.

1.

When's the last time you really slowed down without guilt?

2.

Where are you running on fumes right now?

And what actually refills your cup?

3.

What can you let go of this season, both physically and or mentally?

You don't have to fix everything today, but just notice what needs your attention and where you can make room for peace.

All right, friend, take what you need from today and leave the rest for Grace to handle.

Remember, you're not behind.

You're not too much.

You're certainly not invisible.

You're evolving beautifully.

Until next time, keep showing up with Grace.

Keep living with style.

Keep and keep embracing every season of your amazing life.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

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Until next time, keep shining with grace, style and a touch of sass.