From Doubt to Daring: Building Confidence in Your Next Chapter

Show Notes:
Summary:
Midlife insecurity is more than just a feeling; it's an invitation to grow and transform. Valerie and her co-host dive deep into the common sources of insecurity that many face during this phase of life, including concerns about appearance, relevance, and life transitions. They discuss practical strategies to reframe negative thoughts and embrace change with curiosity rather than fear. By focusing on personal strengths and celebrating small wins, listeners can build confidence that grows stronger with each decision they make. Ultimately, this episode encourages everyone to recognize that every doubt faced is an opportunity to discover inner strength and to own this remarkable chapter of life.
Timestamps:
00:00 Valerie introduces the topic of insecurity in midlife.
01:01 Discusses societal pressures and their impact.
07:05 Offers practical steps to reframe negative thoughts.
09:05 Guides on building confidence through action.
11:28 Summarizes the discussion and gives closing remarks.
Key Takeaways:
Reframe negative thoughts by shifting the focus from feelings of inadequacy to growth opportunities, enhancing your mindset and fostering self-improvement.
Focus on your strengths, listing unique qualities and revisiting them to counteract insecurity and bolster self-confidence.
Embrace change with curiosity rather than fear, viewing transitions as openings for new possibilities and personal growth.
Celebrate small wins and practice positive self-talk, replacing "I can't" with "I'm learning" to build confidence steadily.
Surround yourself with supportive individuals, ensuring that your circle consists of people who lift you up and believe in your potential.
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Let's be honest, we've all been there.
Valerie
That little voice in your head whispers, am I enough?
Valerie
Whether it's about your appearance, your relevance, or your abilities, insecurity has a sneaky way of showing up.
Valerie
But here's the thing.
Valerie
Midlife isn't the time to shrink back.
Valerie
It's the time to rise.
Speaker B
Today, we're talking about how to overcome.
Valerie
Insecurity and embrace the incredible confidence that comes with this date.
Speaker B
Hey, girl.
Speaker B
Welcome to the Aging with Grace and.
Valerie
Style podcast, the place where we celebrate.
Speaker B
Midlife and beyond with grace, style, unapologetic.
Valerie
Confidence, and a touch of sass.
Valerie
I'm Valerie and I am so glad that you're here.
Valerie
This episode is for anyone who's ever felt held back by self doubt.
Valerie
And let's be real, that's all of us at some point.
Valerie
So grab a cup of tea, I have my drink, or whatever else that you like to drink.
Speaker B
Settle in and let's tackle this together.
Valerie
Today we'll explore why insecurity tends to creep in during middle midlife, how to identify the thoughts that hold us back, and most importantly, practical ways to build the kind of confidence that allows us.
Speaker B
To step boldly into this next chapter.
Valerie
So if you think about it, insecurity doesn't just pop up out of nowhere.
Valerie
It's often rooted in experiences, in expectations, and, let's be honest, societal pressures and midlife.
Valerie
It's like a magnifying glass on all of it.
Valerie
Changes in our bodies, shifts in our careers, evolving relationships, family dynamics.
Speaker B
They all challenge our sense of self.
Valerie
And here are some common sources of insecurity.
Valerie
Appearance.
Valerie
Let's talk about that mirror for a moment.
Valerie
Gray hairs, wrinkles, body changes.
Valerie
They're natural, but they're not easy to accept.
Valerie
I don't know that any of us.
Speaker B
Are immune to the initial feelings when.
Valerie
These things kind of creep up on us.
Valerie
I remember how I felt when I saw my first gray hair or gray hairs, or when I saw wrinkles across my forehead, or when I started to gain weight because of hormones and menopause.
Valerie
My first thoughts were, dang, is this what aging is like?
Valerie
I am getting old now while I still get my hair colored.
Valerie
I don't freak out anymore if I see some gray hairs pop in and the weight gain.
Valerie
Well, some lifetime lifestyle changes helped with that.
Speaker B
It helped me to understand how my body was changing.
Speaker B
And age did have some effect.
Valerie
But there were some things that I could do.
Valerie
But the beauty industry, it doesn't help.
Speaker B
It's constantly telling us to fight the clock these days.
Valerie
I'm just happy that the clock is still ticking.
Valerie
And then there's relevance.
Valerie
Have you ever felt like the world is moving so fast and you're not sure where you fit in?
Valerie
So whether it's technology trends or just.
Speaker B
Keeping up with younger generations, midlife can make us question our value.
Valerie
But we shouldn't.
Valerie
You know, I'm a big believer of continuous learning.
Speaker B
We can control our relevance by continuing to learn new things.
Valerie
Do we need to be experts?
Speaker B
No, we don't.
Valerie
But we should have some kind of working knowledge.
Speaker B
Taking time to figure things out not.
Valerie
Only helps us with relevance, but it keeps our brain sharp.
Valerie
I recently had a conversation with someone who is much younger than me, and she doesn't know how to do some things that, to me are basic.
Valerie
But for me, it's really not about the fact that she doesn't know how to do them.
Valerie
It's more that she doesn't take the initiative to learn and would rather say, I.
Valerie
I don't know how.
Speaker B
I'm too old.
Valerie
And we wonder why society treats us as they do.
Valerie
I know we're talking about us women, but I know some guys who also deal with this who would rather say, I'm not keeping up or I'm too old than to sit and spend the time just learning the basics of some things.
Valerie
And then we have life transitions, emptiness, career pivots, or even retirement.
Speaker B
These changes can leave us wondering, what's next?
Valerie
Does any of this resonate with you?
Valerie
Have you found yourself avoiding something?
Valerie
A new opportunity, a social event, even looking in the mirror because of insecurity?
Valerie
If so, you're not alone.
Valerie
And we're going to unpack this together.
Valerie
What if I told you that insecurity isn't a sign of weakness, it's actually an invitation to grow.
Valerie
When we feel insecure, it's often because we're stepping outside of our comfort zone or we're facing a change.
Valerie
And both of those, they bring opportunities for transformation.
Valerie
So how do we shift the way we look at insecurity?
Valerie
It starts with reframing those negative thoughts and recognizing the strengths that we often overlook in ourselves.
Valerie
So let's talk about a few practical ways to do just this.
Speaker B
Challenge the narrative.
Valerie
Instead of thinking, I'm not enough, try asking, what am I learning from this experience?
Valerie
Shift the focus from inadequacy to growth.
Speaker B
Every new challenge, no matter how daunting it holds a lesson that equips us for the future.
Valerie
And then focus on strengths.
Valerie
Think about everything you bring to the table.
Valerie
Your experiences, your wisdom, your resilience These are things that no one else can replicate.
Valerie
Take a moment to list your unique.
Speaker B
Qualities and revisit them whenever these insecurities creep in.
Speaker B
And then embrace change.
Valerie
Change can feel like loss, but it's also an opening to something new.
Valerie
What if we approach change with curiosity instead of fear?
Valerie
Ask yourself, what possibilities does this change present?
Valerie
For instance, let's say you're transitioning into a new role or a phase of life.
Valerie
Instead of dwelling on what you're leaving behind, think about what you're stepping into.
Valerie
It might be an opportunity to learn a new skill, to meet new people, or to rediscover parts of yourself that have been dormant.
Valerie
Or consider physical changes.
Valerie
Instead of critiquing your appearance, celebrate what your body has carried you through, the strength that is shown you, and the life that is lived.
Valerie
I remember a time when I almost didn't apply for a new role because I thought, what if I'm not qualified?
Valerie
But then I realized the only way I was going to find out was to step up.
Speaker B
So I reframed my fear as an opportunity to grow.
Valerie
And you know what?
Valerie
I got the role and it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
Valerie
So think about one area of your life where insecurity is holding you back.
Valerie
What's one step, however small it may be, that you can take today to reframe that doubt?
Valerie
Remember, every shift in perspective brings the foundation for greater confidence.
Valerie
Now that we've defined insecurity and we've explored ways to shift our mindset, it's time to take action.
Valerie
Confidence isn't just about how we think, it's about what we do.
Valerie
So let's dive into some practical steps that you can start implementing today to build the kind of confidence that grows stronger with every decision that you make.
Valerie
First would be celebrate small wins.
Valerie
Confidence isn't built overnight, it's built one small win at a time.
Valerie
So did you speak up in a meeting or did you try something new?
Valerie
If so, celebrate that and then practice positive self talk.
Valerie
Replace negative thoughts with affirmations.
Valerie
Instead of I can't try, say I'm learning or I'm growing.
Valerie
Surround yourself with encouragement.
Valerie
Who's in your corner?
Valerie
Spend time with those people.
Valerie
My pastor recently wrote a social media post and it was, if I recall correctly, entitled who's in your circle versus who's in your corner?
Valerie
And and it talked about there is a difference.
Valerie
Not everybody in our circle is going to be in our corner and we.
Speaker B
Need to be intentional about who we.
Valerie
Have in our corner.
Speaker B
And I totally agree with that.
Valerie
We should spend time with people who are going to lift us up and people who believe in our potential, and then take action despite fear.
Valerie
Confidence doesn't mean that you're never afraid.
Valerie
It means that you move forward anyway.
Speaker B
Start small, but the key is to.
Valerie
Start When I look back on my life, the moments that I'm most proud of weren't the ones where I felt 100% confident.
Valerie
They were the ones that I took a leap despite my doubts.
Speaker B
So what's one small win that you.
Valerie
Can create for yourself this week?
Valerie
Maybe it's trying something new, setting a boundary, or simply just looking in the mirror and saying I'm enough.
Valerie
Today we explored the roots of midlife insecurity.
Speaker B
We reframed it as an opportunity for.
Valerie
Growth and shared practical steps to build confidence.
Valerie
Insecurity doesn't define you, it challenges you to rise.
Valerie
Remember, every doubt you face is an invitation to discover your strength.
Valerie
You are more than enough and this chapter of life is yours to own.
Valerie
So if this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who might need some encouragement and let's connect on social media.
Valerie
You can reach me at IamValerie Hatcher on all platforms.
Valerie
I would love to hear how you're building confidence in your life.
Valerie
Until next time, keep rising, keep growing and keep shining.
Valerie
Take care of yourself and embrace the incredible person that you are.
Speaker B
Thanks for hanging out with me today.
Speaker B
If you love this episode, do me.
Valerie
A favor, share it with a friend.
Speaker B
And leave a quick review.
Valerie
It's a small thing that makes a big difference.
Valerie
Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
Valerie
And hey, let's keep the conversation going.
Valerie
Join me at pod.agingwithgraceinstyle.com for more tips, stories and a whole lot of connection.
Valerie
Until next time, keep shining with grace, style and a touch of sassy.