Nope List: Things We’re Done Tolerating at Midlife

You ever look at something and think, oh, no, I am way too grown for that.

Whether it is uncomfortable shoes, draining friendships, or pretending to like Kale, there comes a point when your peace, your preferences, and your joy just matter more.

This episode is all about the things that we're leaving behind.

And not with sadness, but with a whole lot of freedom and a side of laughter.

Lift.

Let your spirit fly.

Celebrate the journey every single day.

Aging with grace and style in our own special way.

Welcome to Aging with Grace and Style, the podcast where midlife isn't a crisis, it's a comeback.

I'm your host, Valerie, and today's episode is part two of of our Unfiltered and Free series.

Last week, we talked about the beauty of caring less and reclaiming our peace.

This week, we're calling it out with love and a little sass.

The things that we've just too grown for.

Now, if you're new, welcome to our circle of bold, unfiltered women.

And if you're back for more, well, you already know we don't do boring around here.

So grab your coffee or your favorite mocktail, settle in and let's laugh, reflect, and maybe retire a few habits, expectations, and situations that we've officially outgrown.

Because here's the truth.

Midlife isn't about becoming someone else.

It's about getting clear on who you've always been.

And the more you know yourself, the more you realize, yeah, I don't have time for that anymore.

Let me ask you, what's one thing you used to tolerate just to keep the peace that now you just can't anymore?

Now let's talk about what I'm going to call the nope list.

N O P E Here are just a few things that I know I'm too grown for now and I have a feeling you'll be able to relate.

Group chats with drama Mute archive exit Friends who keep score we're not keeping receipts, we're keeping peace.

Standing in uncomfortable shoes to prove I'm stylish Baby, I got cute sneakers now Unclear invites that say come if you can but they mean you better show up Nope, say what you mean I remember a time not too long ago when I was invited to this event full of great people.

It was for a great cause, but y', all I was tired, I had nothing left in the tank.

Old me would have slapped on some lipstick, put on heels and powered through but this new me, I sent a polite thanks, but I won't be able to make it Text and crawled into the bed with my tea and my bonnet.

And guess what?

I didn't miss a thing.

My peace was intact.

I asked some of you what you're too grown for now and here's what came back.

Anything that requires me to pretend apologizing for resting, letting people guilt me into giving when I'm on empty.

Trina from Dallas said I'm too grown to RSVP for anything that comes with a side of guilt.

I thought that was hilarious.

And then Barbara wrote I used to apologize for taking time for myself.

Now rest is a non negotiable.

Let's just say I think we're all done with performing.

As you listen today I want you to mentally or literally make your own nope list.

Trust me, it's therapeutic.

This part is all in fun.

Some things that we've outgrown not because they're bad, but because they're just not us anymore.

Low rise jeans.

Never again long explanations When I say no.

You heard me the first time.

Here's a good one.

Bad bras.

I am choosing support emotionally and physically and then conversations where I have to shrink myself so someone else feels tall.

There's joy in letting some of this go.

Okay, be honest.

What thing did you let go of that secretly made you cheer inside?

It could be quirky or serious.

Now I want to do a quick check in.

Take a moment right now.

What's one thing that no longer serves the woman that you are today?

Say it out loud or write it in your notes app.

Declaring it even quietly is powerful.

Let's shift from funny to freeing.

This season of life has taught me that I don't need permission to say no without guilt.

To show up how I want to show up.

To set boundaries without writing a full TED Talk about it.

To take up space quietly or boldly.

There was a time while it was short lived that I used to write dissertation length text explaining why I couldn't make it to something.

Now I say no.

Can't do it, but have enough fun for me.

You're not waiting for someone to say it's okay to live fully.

You're the adult in the room.

You are the permission slip.

Let me hear you.

I don't need permission to rest, to say no, or to take up space.

I am my own green light.

Repeat that yes.

Even if you're in Target, Walmart, wherever you are, just say it.

Remember, every time you choose your piece, you teach someone else that they can too.

There's a line that I say often and it's I'm not for everyone.

And that's okay.

I even have a T shirt that says Midlife teaches you to be okay with people misunderstanding you.

Not because you are unclear, but because you've stopped watering down the truth.

If they don't get it, they just don't get it.

But you, you get you.

And that's enough.

Here's what some of our grown woman community had to say that made me smile.

They said I'm too grown to argue with people who are committed to misunderstanding me.

I'm too grown to wear makeup every day.

I'm showing up moisturized and that's enough.

I'm too grown to act like I enjoy networking events.

I want deep conversations and good snacks.

So here's a gentle challenge this week.

Make your own too grown for list.

It can be funny, serious, petty or powerful.

Whatever's real for you.

Okay, here's mine.

Long apologies, endless social obligations, and faking laughter at bad jokes.

I've retired all of those now.

Write it down, text it to a friend who gets it, or even post it using the hashtag twogrown4.

Let's spark a movement.

Naming it helps you release it.

Let's stop spending energy explaining what we've outgrown.

We're not judging, we're just choosing differently.

And that's growth.

Here's my grown woman mantra of the week.

I choose me without apology, explanation or delay.

Feel free to borrow it.

Say it before that call that you really don't want to return.

If this episode made you smile, nod your head or think.

Girl, you talking to me?

Share it with someone who's also on the grown woman journey.

Remember, you're not getting older, you're getting bolder and comfier.

Comfier is a word, isn't it?

Well, if it's not, it is today.

Next week we're closing the series with a deeper one.

It's confidence isn't loud, it's knowing who you are.

Mark your calendars as it drops Tuesday morning at 8am you don't want to miss this one.

Until then, wear the comfy shoes.

Say the quiet no.

And don't apologize for needing rest.

Because you, my friend, you're too grown for anything less than peace.

See you next time.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

If you loved this episode, do me a favor, share it with a friend and leave a quick review.

It's a small thing that makes a big difference.

Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

And hey, let's keep the conversation going.

Join me at pod.agingwithgraceinstyle.com for more tips, stories and a whole lot of connection.

Until next time, keep shining with grace, style and a touch of sass.