Permission to Pause: Why Rest is Not a Four-Letter Word

Have you ever felt like the fire that used to fuel you just faded?

Like you're still showing up, doing all the things, even smiling through it.

But deep inside, something's missing.

The energy, the excitement, the spark.

It's just not there.

That's where I've been.

Not just tired, but quiet.

I haven't posted on Instagram in weeks.

Not because I didn't care, but because I had so much on my plate, I didn't even know where to start.

I'd open the app.

I'd stare at that blinking cursor and ask myself, what do I even want to say right now?

And the deeper question underneath it all was, do I even have the energy for this anymore?

If you are in a season like that, I want you to know you're not failing.

You're evolving.

And sometimes the fire doesn't just go out.

It just waits for us to slow down long enough to feel it.

Living our best life.

It's good to be alive, but it's best to truly live.

Let your spirit bright celebrate the journey every single day.

Aging with growth, grace, and sty in our own special way.

Welcome to Aging with Grace and Style, the podcast where we embrace midlife as a season of bold growth, honest reflection, and unapologetic purpose.

I'm your host, Valerie, and today's episode is going to be a little different.

It's less of a lesson and more of a moment, a pause, a conversation from my heart to yours.

Because I don't have all the answers today, but I do have a question.

What if this quiet season that you're in is actually sacred?

Now let me take you behind the curtain for a second.

These past few weeks, I have felt overwhelmed.

Life has been full.

And in all that fullness, I started to feel empty.

In my last podcast, I talked about how life had been lifing.

Go back and listen to it.

I'll put the information in the notes.

But I wasn't creating.

I wasn't posting.

I wasn't producing like I usually do.

And for a while, I felt guilty about that.

I kept thinking, am I letting people down?

Am I still doing what I'm called to do?

Is this a sign that I just need to walk away from everything or something?

And then, almost like clockwork, I got a call.

And it was from someone that I deeply respect.

And it was totally out of the blue.

And she said, valerie, I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you.

And I wanted to tell you how much your.

Your podcast and your Monday morning boost have blessed Me.

They carry so much positivity and power.

And the ones who need to hear it, they will.

Y'all.

I literally got chills because it was in that moment when I was doubting my purpose.

God sent confirmation through someone who didn't even know that I was struggling.

So today, I want to pass that blessing on to you.

If you're feeling like your fire is dim, maybe what you need isn't more effort.

Maybe it's permission to pause.

We live in a world that worships momentum, productivity, and visibility, especially as women over 50.

We're told to stay active, to stay relevant, and to stay on.

Like our worth depends on whether we're still in motion.

But here's the truth.

Rest is not retreat.

Stillness is not weakness.

And silence is not a sign that you've lost your way.

Sometimes the quiet is just where the clarity lives.

I used to think that burnout had to look like a total breakdown, but now I know it often shows up more subtly.

It looks like always feeling on, but never really present, saying yes to things that you don't have the capacity for, feeling guilty when you choose rest over results.

Does that sound familiar?

You're not broken.

You're human.

And pausing isn't quitting.

It's tending.

So let me gently ask you, have you checked in with yourself lately?

I mean, really paused?

Sat with what you're carrying and asked your spirit how it's doing?

Let's do that.

Now take a breath with me.

Drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, and just let your mind soften.

Now ask yourself, where in my life am I forcing something that's just begging to be paused?

And what am I afraid will fall apart if I stop?

What do I need more of?

And what can I release?

Don't worry about fixing anything.

Just be honest and let your answers rise gently to the surface.

This is a sacred space, and your truth, it belongs here.

In this quiet season.

I've learned a few things.

Some hard, some beautiful.

I've learned that silence doesn't mean that you're forgotten.

I've learned that people will still be there when you return.

And I've learned that sometimes you can be pouring out wisdom and still need someone to pour into you.

That phone call from a friend reminded me that our impact often reaches much further than we can see.

Just because people aren't always responding doesn't mean that they aren't receiving.

I'm also learning to reevaluate what truly fills me up, what drains me, even if it once excited me.

Shoot.

Things change.

This pause has helped me ask new questions, like what's aligned for this season of my life?

Because what was good for the last season may not be what I need to do at this point.

What content, what conversations, what commitments still feel like.

Yes, in my spirit, and most of all, I'm learning to listen.

Not to the algorithm, which totally trips us all up.

Not to expectations, but to God, to my body, and to my intuition.

I want to give you four ways to embrace your own pause without guilt.

Number one.

Call it what it is.

Say it out loud.

I'm in a slower season right now.

Naming it gives it dignity.

Number two.

Redefine what counts as productive.

Rest, reflection, and doing nothing are valid forms of growth.

Now, you know, I have talked to you before about how I struggle with doing nothing.

Um, I think through this period, I've kind of been forced into times of doing nothing because I couldn't produce and do the things that I wanted to do because I was focused on something else.

Number three is protect your energy like it's sacred, because you know what?

It really is sacred.

Not everyone gets access to your time, and you don't need to explain why.

Number four, believe this.

The fire will return.

It may come back differently, quieter, deeper, more focused, but it will return.

So in the meantime, don't rush it.

Just tend to it.

Honor it.

Let the flame rebuild from inside out.

If this message spoke to you, where you are right now, then I want to hear from you.

Send me a dm.

Share this episode with someone who needs it.

Because I know I am not the only one going through this.

Or post your own reflection and tag me.

You can even just write it in a journal, Whatever feels right for you.

But let's remind each other, this pause that we're in, it's not the end.

It's the beginning of something more aligned.

So let me leave you with this.

You're not behind.

You're not broke, broken.

You're not less than.

Because you're resting.

You are becoming.

You are rebuilding.

You are listening.

And when the time is right, your voice, your vision, your fire, it will rise stronger than ever.

So here's your permission slip.

You have permission to pause.

You have permission to rest.

You have permission to honor your rhythm and to trust that even in the quiet, you're still growing.

If this episode gave you something.

Peace, clarity, permission.

Would you do me a favor and share it?

Text it to a friend, post it on Instagram, or leave a review.

You never know who needs this reminder, too?

And if you haven't already done so, hit that follow button, we've got more conversation coming.

Real ones.

The kind that help us rise with grace and grow in purpose.

Until next time, keep listening, keep honoring your season, and keep aging with grace, style, and, of course, a touch of sass.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

If you love this episode, do me a favor, share it with a friend and leave a quick review.

It's a small thing that makes a big difference.

Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

And hey, let's keep the conversation going.

Join me at pod.agingwithgraceinstyle.com for more tips, stories, and a whole lot of connection.

Until next time, keep shining with grace, style, and a touch of.