The Beauty of Becoming: Discovering Your True Self After 50

Show Notes:
Summary:
Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and thought, "Who is this woman?" You’re not alone, and today we’re diving deep into that feeling of disconnect. It's all about recognizing that while our reflections may change, our inner selves are still evolving beautifully. We chat about how acceptance of these physical changes can seriously amp up our self-esteem and overall well-being, especially for women over 50. So grab your coffee, take a deep breath, and get ready to embrace the journey of becoming—because it’s not just about how we look, but how we feel and value ourselves. Let's celebrate every stage of this fabulous ride together!
Timestamps:
00:02 Introduction to owning your power and presence over 50
01:16 The true essence of presence and self-belief
02:25 Challenging societal pressures and the quest for perfection
03:42 Addressing the "invisible woman" stereotype and its impacts
06:10 Empowering responses to age-related stereotypes
07:04 Practical tips for enhancing self-presence
09:37 Using your voice effectively to command respect
11:21 Looking ahead to communication strategies for respect and presence
12:10 Weekly challenge: Observing and emulating presence
13:06 Closing thoughts and invitation to engage with the podcast community
Key Takeaways:
- In the journey of self-discovery, we often look in the mirror and wonder who we've become, but that's just part of evolving into our true selves.
- Acceptance of our physical changes and maintaining a positive outlook is crucial for mental well-being as we age.
- Our identities shift from roles defined by society, like mother or professional, to a deeper understanding of who we are within.
- It's important to speak kindly to ourselves when we look in the mirror, just as we would to our best friends.
- The reflection in the mirror often symbolizes not just our outer appearance, but our inner journey and self-acceptance.
- Embracing our visibility and refusing to fade away as we age can lead to greater self-worth and happiness.
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Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and wondered, who is this woman?
Speaker AYou know her.
Speaker AHer eyes, her smile, her laugh lines.
Speaker ASomething feels unfamiliar.
Speaker AMaybe your face has changed, maybe your body has shifted.
Speaker AAnd sometimes, even when life is good, you feel a little disconnected from the woman staring back.
Speaker AIf that's you, take a deep breath with me right now.
Speaker AYou're not broken.
Speaker AYou're becoming.
Speaker AAnd today we're going to talk about what the mirror can't show you.
Speaker AYour power, your presence.
Speaker AAnd the beautiful transformation happening inside you, even if you can't always see it.
Speaker BIt's good to be alive, but it's best to truly let your spirit fly.
Speaker BCelebrate the journey every single day.
Speaker BAging with Grace and style in our own special Way.
Speaker AWelcome to Aging with Grace and Style, the podcast for women over 50 who are ready to show up, fully honor their evolution, and live this chapter out loud.
Speaker AI'm your host, Valerie, and you're listening to part one of the Becoming series, a three part conversation about letting go of what we were and stepping into who we're called to be.
Speaker ANow, today we're talking about the mirror.
Speaker ANot just what we see, but what we feel.
Speaker ANot just how we look, but how we value ourselves.
Speaker ASo grab your coffee, take another deep breath, and let's get into it.
Speaker AThere's something deeply personal about the way we look at ourselves, especially when the outside starts to change, but the inside feels familiar.
Speaker AYou're doing your morning routine, your moisturizer, brushing your hair, add in a little mascara and of course the lip gloss.
Speaker AAnd then out of nowhere, you catch your reflection and you think, wait, when did I start looking like this?
Speaker AIf you've been through big transitions like aging, caregiving, loss, retirement, or just the slow shifting of life seasons, the mirror becomes less about appearance and more about identity.
Speaker AStudies show that acceptance of physical changes, self esteem and optimism are key predictors of mental health and well being for women in their 50s, women who are able to accept the changes in their appearance and maintain a positive outlook report better self rated health and emotional resistance.
Speaker AHere's the truth.
Speaker AWhat we're searching for in the mirror is rarely just about our face.
Speaker AWe're looking for something that's familiar.
Speaker AWe're looking for stability for a version of ourselves that we recognize.
Speaker ABut the reflection has changed and the you underneath has too.
Speaker AAnd here's the thing.
Speaker AIt's not always about insecurity.
Speaker ASometimes it's about recognition.
Speaker ABecause what we're really asking is, do I still see me in.
Speaker ASo ask yourself, what's the first thing that you say to yourself when you look in the mirror, Would you say that same thing to your best friend?
Speaker AIf not, then maybe it's time to offer yourself a little more grace.
Speaker AFor so many of us, confidence was rooted in what we did for others.
Speaker AI think back to when my son John was still in school.
Speaker AI was John's mom.
Speaker AAt basketball games, parent teacher meetings in the grocery store.
Speaker AYou're John's mom.
Speaker ANot Valerie, not Mrs. Hatcher, just John's mom.
Speaker AAnd you know, I wore that name with pride.
Speaker AAnd since he played basketball in college, it carried on there too.
Speaker AI was John's mom.
Speaker ABut when he graduated and moved on, and then when people we knew moved away, I noticed something.
Speaker ANo one called me that anymore.
Speaker AIt was like had to find a new way to take up space.
Speaker AAnd while this might surprise people who know me, for a little while I wasn't sure who I was outside of that role.
Speaker AResearch on midlife women shows that identity often shifts from being defined by social roles like mother, wife or professional to a more internal, self driven sense of self.
Speaker AThis transition can be challenging, but it also opens the door to greater autonomy and self definition.
Speaker AIt made me realize confidence gets a little wobbly when our titles get quiet.
Speaker AWe're not always taught how to be women without the labels, but that's where becoming begins.
Speaker ANow think of the roles that you've used to hold.
Speaker ANow ask yourself, what do I want to be called now?
Speaker ANot by others, but by me.
Speaker AHave you ever scrolled through your camera roll and think, dang, I didn't even appreciate how good I looked back then.
Speaker AI've been there too.
Speaker ARecently I came across a photo.
Speaker ALonger, thicker hair, more toned.
Speaker AJust looked more energized.
Speaker AAnd my first thought was, I missed those legs.
Speaker ABut then I paused.
Speaker ABecause what I was really longing for wasn't just the look.
Speaker AIt was the season of life.
Speaker AThat photo reminded me of a time when life felt full, when I was in motion, when things were busy and good.
Speaker AAnd you know what?
Speaker AI like who I am today.
Speaker AI really do.
Speaker ABut that moment reminded me Sometimes we attach beauty to errors, not features.
Speaker AIt's not just about the body.
Speaker AIt's about what that version of us felt like.
Speaker AStudies have found that body image concerns and the challenge of reconciling a youthful inner self with an aging outer appearance are common for women in later life.
Speaker AHowever, many women also report a growing sense of acceptance and even pride in their evolving identity as they age.
Speaker ASo let me say this with love.
Speaker AYou are not who you were.
Speaker AAnd that's not a flaw, it's a gift.
Speaker AIf you keep measuring your worth by old standards, how you used to look, what others used to call you, how many people needed you, you'll miss the sacred beauty of becoming, letting go of who we used to be.
Speaker AIt isn't easy.
Speaker AWe're wired to find safety in the familiar, even if it no longer fits.
Speaker AIf you were praised for being productive, selfless, always there for everyone, then stepping into a more centered version of yourself might feel a bit selfish or even uncomfortable.
Speaker ABut here's the shift.
Speaker AYou don't have to abandon who you are.
Speaker AYou just don't have to perform her anymore.
Speaker ALet her rest.
Speaker ALet her evolve.
Speaker ALet her become.
Speaker ALet's talk about something real.
Speaker AWe live in a culture that teaches women to fade, to age quietly, to become invisible, to support but maybe not be so seen, to serve but not take up space.
Speaker ACultural attitudes and ageism can negatively impact women's self esteem and body image, reinforcing the idea that women lose value as they age.
Speaker AHowever, research also shows that women who resist these societal pressures and embrace their visibility report higher well being and self worth.
Speaker ABecoming means refusing to fade out.
Speaker AIt means wearing the color, asking the question, posting the picture, laughing loudly and saying I'm still here and I matter, declaring I will not disappear in the second act of my life.
Speaker AHere's where we move from reflection to rebuilding.
Speaker AGrieve who you are, then honor who you're becoming.
Speaker AYou're allowed to miss the woman you used to be and still celebrate the woman you're becoming.
Speaker ASpeak differently to your reflection in the mirror.
Speaker ATry I'm still here and I still matter.
Speaker ALet go of the script.
Speaker AWho told you what you had to look like to be beautiful?
Speaker AThey don't get to have the final word.
Speaker ADress like a woman who knows who she is.
Speaker AThat might mean color.
Speaker AThat might mean comfort.
Speaker AThat really might mean a short dress.
Speaker AWhatever feels like you, dress for the confident you that you're growing into.
Speaker ACelebrate what your body can still do.
Speaker AYou can still walk right.
Speaker AYou can still dance.
Speaker AYou can still laugh.
Speaker AYou can still hug.
Speaker AThat's grace in motion.
Speaker AI've read that women who focus on self acceptance, on optimism and celebrating their body's abilities rather than just a parent report higher self esteem and better mental health in their 50s and beyond.
Speaker ASo here's your challenge for the week.
Speaker AEvery day this week, look into the mirror and affirm one thing about your becoming.
Speaker ATry I'm not who I was and that's powerful.
Speaker AOr I'm arriving in my own life I don't need to shrink to be seen.
Speaker AI like the woman I'm becoming.
Speaker ASay it.
Speaker AEven if it feels awkward.
Speaker ASay it until it feels true.
Speaker AYou don't need to go back to who you were.
Speaker AShe was amazing.
Speaker ABut she's not the only amazing version of you and the version that's emerging right now.
Speaker AShe's wise, she's worthy, and she deserves your full attention.
Speaker ASo let the mirror reflect what it will, but you decide what you see.
Speaker AYou're still here and you still matter.
Speaker AThis is only part one of the Becoming series.
Speaker ANext week we're going to talk about finding your voice again.
Speaker ABecause it's not just about how you show up.
Speaker AIt's about how you speak up.
Speaker AIf this episode stirred something in you, then send it to someone who's walking through their own self reflection shift.
Speaker ALet her know she's not the only one wondering, evolving and becoming.
Speaker AUntil next time, keep looking forward and keep aging with grace, style and a touch of sass.
Speaker AThanks for hanging out with me today.
Speaker AIf you love this episode, do me a favor.
Speaker AShare it with a friend and leave a quick review.
Speaker AIt's a small thing that makes a big difference.
Speaker ADon't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.
Speaker AAnd hey, let's keep the conversation going.
Speaker AJoin me at pod.agingwithgraceinstyle.com for more tips, stories, and a whole lot of connection.
Speaker AUntil next time, keep shining with grace, style, and a touch of sass.