Life After 50: The Surprising Things Nobody Warned Me About

Nobody warned me that one day I'd spend five minutes looking for my reading glasses while they were sitting on top of my head.

Nobody warned me that I'd become emotionally invested in my sleep score.

Nobody warned me that getting down on the floor would require a strategy meeting.

And nobody warned me that I'd eventually have conversations with my phone, my watch, my ring, my television, and occasionally myself.

But here's the thing.

None of those are the biggest surprise.

The biggest surprise is that somewhere along the way, I actually started to like this version of myself, the woman I've become or became after 50.

And today we're talking about all the funny, unexpected, slightly ridiculous things nobody warns us about when it comes to getting older and why some of them have turned out to be, well, pretty wonderful.

Living our best life.

It's good to be alive, but it's best to truly live.

Let your spirit bright celebrate the journey every single day.

Aging with grace and style in our own special way.

Hey there.

Welcome back to Aging with Grace and Style.

I'm your host, Valerie Hatcher, and this is the podcast for women over 50 who are navigating midlife without the pressure to reinvent themselves.

Each week we talk about confidence, wellness, lifestyle, and all the real experience experiences that come with this season.

We name what's real, normalize what's hard, and explore what's possible.

And today, today we're taking a break from the serious stuff.

Last week, we talked about brain health and protecting our memory after 50.

It was an important conversation, and if you haven't listened to it, go back and do so.

But this week, we're going to have a little fun.

Because while aging comes with wisdom and confidence and perspective, it also comes with some things that nobody prepared us for.

The readers, the recovery time, the conversations with technology, the things we suddenly get excited about, and the realization that maybe, just maybe, this season is a lot better than we expected.

As I was putting this episode together, I realized something.

All these little things we're going to laugh about today point to something bigger.

Because while there are different things nobody warned me about when it comes to getting older, there is one thing nobody prepared me for at all.

And we'll get to it in a little bit.

So grab your drink, turn up the volume if you're driving, settle in, and let's talk about it.

Before we get started, let me be clear.

This is not a complaining episode.

You know how I feel about aging.

Aging is a blessing, not a curse.

I believe that with my whole heart.

But part of embracing this season is being Honest about it.

All of it, including the parts that are objectively hilarious.

Because somewhere along the way, my body stopped consulting with me before making decisions.

It just does things.

Now, let's start with sounds.

The little.

The slight groan, the mysterious noise that escapes when you sit down or stand up.

Nobody teaches you these sounds.

One day, they just simply arrive and somehow they become part of your vocabulary.

And can we talk about getting on the floor?

One day I was visiting Halo and she was playing on the floor.

So I thought, why don't I just get down there with her?

Now, younger Valerie would have just dropped right down there without a second thought.

Current Valerie starts to evaluate the situation.

You know, toddlers have a short attention span.

So I was thinking, how long are we staying down here?

What's my exit strategy?

Am I using the sofa to get up?

Do I need assistance?

Getting down isn't the problem.

It's getting up gracefully.

The floor and I have a complicated relationship now.

And then there's the recovery.

Do you remember when you could have a packed weekend and bounce back by Monday morning?

Girl.

Now, one busy Saturday can affect me until Wednesday.

Church event.

Road trip.

Too much walking, too little sleep.

My body sends me an invoice, and the payment plan lasts several business days.

And don't get me started on the heating pad.

I remember when I was younger, the heating pad was for injuries.

And now the heating pad is a lifestyle.

It has a permanent address.

We have an understanding.

Sometimes nothing even hurts.

The heating pad just sounds like a good idea.

So last week we talked about brain health.

Then a few days later, I forgot a simple word.

The irony was not lost on me.

You know what I'm talking about.

You're having a conversation.

You know exactly what you want to say.

The thought is there.

The word is not.

So instead of saying the actual word, you start describing it.

You know the thing, you know the whatchamacallit.

And somehow everyone understands.

Then there's the room situation.

You walk into a room for a reason.

It's a very specific reason.

You actually had a plan, a mission, a purpose.

And the second you cross the doorway, everything disappears.

Now you're standing there looking around your own house like a visitor.

And somehow, the minute you walk back to where you started, your memory returns.

Apparently, my thoughts don't travel very well.

And let's discuss the readers.

Nobody warned me that I would own multiple pairs.

Pairs of reading glasses and still never be able to find one.

I know there are readers at this house.

A lot of them.

Several.

Several.

The problem is I need the readers to help me find the readers.

That feels really unfair.

And don't even get me started on telling stories.

Okay, not saying that this happens to me, but you know when you're halfway through a story and suddenly you see in their eyes you've told the story before.

Maybe once, maybe three times.

But honestly, at that point, you're already committed and it's still a good story, so you're finishing it.

This might be my favorite part, because no one warned me that what brings me joy would completely change.

Let's start with sleep.

Not sleeping, but the score.

I never thought I'd wake up, excited to see how I slept.

Yet here we are.

If I wake up and I see a really good sleep score on my ring, I am carrying that energy all day.

I feel accomplished, like I really achieved something overnight while literally doing nothing.

Nobody warned me I'd become emotionally invested in sleep data.

And can we talk about quiet?

Not loneliness, not isolation, but quiet.

There is something absolutely beautiful about sitting outside on the patio with a cup of coffee and no agenda.

No rushing, no notifications, no one needing anything.

Just a few peaceful moments.

When I was younger, I thought every minute needed to be productive.

Okay, I'll be honest.

Sometimes I still do think that.

But now some of my favorite moments are the ones where absolutely nothing is happening.

And here's another thing.

Nobody warned me how much I'd appreciate when things simply work.

The website update works, the package arrives when they say it would, the technology cooperates.

The appointment starts on time.

The checkout line moves quickly.

At this stage of life, smooth is underrated.

I don't need excitement every day.

I'll take easy.

Easy is wonderful.

And speaking of technology, no one warned me that I'd spend my 60s talking to my watch, my phone, my ring, sometimes my television, and occasionally my car.

Some days I feel incredibly tech savvy.

Other days I lock myself out of something that I've used for years because I forgot the password.

So it's really a delicate balance.

Here's another thing nobody prepared me for.

My relationship with time is completely different.

I leave early.

Not because I'm worried, because I enjoy peace.

I enjoy not rushing.

Current Valerie would rather sit quietly for 10 minutes than sprint through a parking lot five minutes late.

That feels like wisdom and getting ready.

I've stopped lying to myself.

Past Valerie was optimistic.

Current Valerie has data.

Current Valerie knows exactly how long it takes to get ready and plans accordingly.

And then they're saying no.

Not a dramatic no.

Not guilty.

No.

Just no.

Or that doesn't Work for me.

Or here's my favorite.

Let me check my calendar.

Because sometimes my calendar says I'm busy.

And what it really means is that I want a quiet evening at home.

And that counts.

Now, here's the thing I never saw coming.

The biggest surprise of all, actually like her, meaning this version of me.

The one who checks her sleep score, the one who appreciates quiet, the one who carries readers in multiple locations, the one who laughs at herself, the one who doesn't rush, the one who values peace, the one who doesn't feel the need to explain every decision she makes.

I genuinely like her.

And I don't think I expected that when I was younger.

I assumed getting older would mostly feel like loss, that I spend my time missing younger versions of myself.

And sure, there are moments, but mostly, mostly, this woman is easier to be.

She worries less.

She compares less.

She knows herself better.

She has stopped trying to impress people who were never paying that much attention anyway.

She says no when she means no.

She says yes when she wants to.

She has stopped performing and started living.

And maybe that's the trade off nobody talks about.

We lose a little speed.

We gain a lot of peace.

We stop trying to become someone else and finally become more of ourselves.

And honestly, that's a pretty good deal.

So here's what I want to leave you with today.

The next time you make a sound getting up from the couch, just laugh.

The next time you forget a word, laugh.

The next time you check your sleep score before checking the weather, laugh.

The next time you appreciate a quiet moment, just lean into it.

Because the woman who knows what she likes values her peace and no longer apologizes for it.

She's not the punchline, she's the destination.

Nobody warned me about the readers.

Nobody warned me about the sleep scores.

Nobody warned me about the heating pad.

Nobody warned me about the recovery time.

But the thing nobody warned me about, the thing I never saw coming, is that one day I look at this woman I've become and think, you know what?

I actually like her.

And honestly, that might be the best surprise of all.

Until next time, keep aging with grace, style and a touch of size.

Because aging isn't a curse.

It is absolutely, 100% a blessing.

Talk to you soon.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

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Until next time, keep shining with grace, style and a touch of sass.