You're Capable of More Than You Think

Have you ever known somebody who decides they're going to do something and somehow they just make it happen?

They decide they're going to get in shape, start a business, learn something new, or pursue a goal they've been thinking about, and the next thing you know, they've actually done it.

Meanwhile, some of us are still thinking about it.

We're researching, we're making plans, we're talking about it, and maybe even buying everything we need to get started.

But actually getting started, well, that's another story.

And it makes me wonder, what is it about some people that allows them to accomplish the things they set out to do?

Are they more confident, more disciplined?

Do they have some special talent the rest of us don't have?

Or could the difference have something to do with things they do every day?

I've been thinking about this lately, especially as I look at this next season in my life life.

And I keep coming back to one thought.

What if we're capable of more than we give ourselves credit for, but some of our everyday habits are keeping us from finding out.

Well, that's what we're talking about today.

Welcome to Aging With Grace and Style, the podcast for women over 50 who want to move forward with confidence without reinventing our lives.

I'm your host, Valerie Hatcher, and around here, we have honest conversations about mindset, wellness, lifestyle, and all the things that come with getting older.

We share a little wisdom, a little laughter, and hopefully some encouragement to make this season of life one of the best.

So grab your coffee, get comfortable, and let's get into it.

Now, before we get into this conversation, I want to make something clear.

When I talk about success today, I'm not necessarily talking about money, careers, or how many accomplishments somebody has listed on their resume, because success looks different for all of us.

For one woman, success might mean starting the business she dreamed about for years.

For another, it might mean finally taking control of her health.

Somebody else might want to go back to school, learn a new skill, or develop the confidence to do something that she's always wanted to try.

And for some women, success might simply mean creating a life where they have more time to enjoy the things and the people they love.

All of those count.

So this isn't about comparing ourselves to somebody else or feeling like we haven't done enough.

Goodness knows, by the time we reach our 50s and 60s, most of us have already done plenty.

This is really about something much simpler.

If there is something you want to accomplish, something that matters to you, what's helping you move toward it, and what's possibly getting in your way.

Because I think sometimes the biggest difference isn't necessarily what we're capable of doing.

It's what we actually do.

Over the years, I've worked with a lot of different people, and one of the things I found interesting is that the people who accomplish the most aren't always the ones who you would expect.

Sometimes they're not the loudest person in the room.

They're not necessarily the ones with the most impressive credentials or the most natural talent.

But there's something about the way they approach things.

They have an idea, they figure out what needs to happen and they start moving.

Now, that doesn't mean everything works out for them.

It doesn't mean that they never have doubts or encounter obstacles.

But they don't always wait until they have everything figured out before they begin.

And I think that's an important distinction because some of us are really good at planning.

We can research something until there's nothing left to research.

We can make a list, create a spreadsheet, watch 15 YouTube videos, and ask everybody we know for their opinion.

And listen.

I'm not knocking preparation.

I'm a planner myself.

I like to know what I'm getting into.

But at some point, preparation can become a way of putting off the very thing that we're preparing to dip.

Have you ever done that?

You tell yourself, I'm going to start exercising when I find the right gym.

Then you find the right gym.

But now you need the right workout clothes.

Then you need to figure out the best schedule.

And before you know it, three months have gone by and you still haven't worked out.

Or maybe you've been thinking about taking a class, starting a project, or learning something new.

But you keep waiting until you feel a little more confident.

Here's what I've started to realize.

Sometimes confidence doesn't come before we do something.

Sometimes it comes because we've done it.

Think about the first time you drove a car.

You probably weren't particularly confident.

You had to pay attention to everything.

But the more you drove, the more comfortable you became.

And eventually something that once required all your concentration became second nature.

Maybe that's how we need to approach some of the things we want to accomplish now.

Instead of waiting until we feel completely ready, maybe we just need to get started.

Not recklessly, not without thinking things through, but with the understanding that we don't have to know everything before we take the first step.

And I think that's worth asking ourselves, am I still preparing because I genuinely need more information?

Or am I preparing because getting started feels uncomfortable.

There's a difference.

Now, this part might make a few of us a little uncomfortable because sometimes the thought things that keep us from moving forward aren't the big obstacles we think they are.

Sometimes it's the little conversations we have with ourselves.

You know, the ones.

I don't have enough time.

I'm probably too old to start that now.

I'm not really good at those kinds of things.

What if I try and it doesn't work?

And my personal favorite, I'll do it when things settle down.

Well, let me ask you something.

When was the last time life completely settled down exactly?

There's always going to be something.

Family responsibilities, appointments, unexpected expenses, somebody needing something, or just the everyday business of living.

And sometimes those responsibilities are very real.

We don't have the same amount of time, money, energy or support available to us.

But there are times when we have more room to make a move than we think.

We just haven't decided to use it yet.

And I wonder if part of that comes from getting comfortable with what we already know.

By this point in life, we've developed routines.

We know what works for us.

We figured out what we like and what we don't.

And honestly, there's something wonderful about that.

I don't need to spend the next 20 years figuring out who I am.

I've done a pretty good job at getting to know myself.

But I also don't want to become so comfortable with the person I am today that I stop being open to what I might still be capable of doing.

Because there's a difference between being content with your life and assuming there's nothing else you want to experience or accomplish.

And I think we need to be honest with ourselves about that.

Sometimes we say we're not interested in something when the truth is we're a little intimidated by it.

Sometimes we say we don't have time when we really haven't made it a priority.

And sometimes we convince ourselves that we're not capable because we don't want to risk disappointment.

But here's something I want you to consider.

How many things have you already accomplished in your life at one point you weren't sure you could do?

Maybe you raised children while working full time.

Maybe you went back to school.

Maybe you navigated a divorce, a job loss, a health challenge, or some other major life change.

Maybe you learned to do something because you had absolutely no choice but to figure it out, and you did.

It might not have been easy.

You might have needed help along the way, but somehow you made it through.

So why do we sometimes look at a new goal and immediately question whether we're capable?

I'm not suggesting that everything we want to do is possible simply because we believe in ourselves.

But I am suggesting that we shouldn't automatically rule ourselves out before we even explore the possibilities.

Sometimes the first thing we need to change is the conversation we're having with ourselves.

Instead of saying, what would it take for me to do that?

The question can open up a completely different conversation.

Now, here's something else I've noticed.

We often look at people who are really good at something and assume they must have some natural ability that we don't have.

And sometimes they do.

Some people are naturally gifted in certain areas, no question about it.

But we don't always see.

But what we don't always see is how much time and effort went into developing that ability.

Think about someone who's in great physical shape.

We see them working out, looking strong, and making it seem almost effortless.

What we don't necessarily see are all the ordinary days when they showed up to exercise, even when they didn't particularly feel like it.

Or maybe someone who's a great photographer.

We admire their beautiful pictures, but we don't see the hundreds of photos that didn't turn out quite right.

We don't see the hours they spent learning lighting, composition and editing.

We see the results.

We don't always see the repetition.

And I think that's where habits come into picture.

Because motivation is wonderful when you have it.

You know that feeling when you get excited about something, you're ready to go, you've got all these ideas, and you can't wait to get started.

But then a week goes by, maybe two, and the excitement wears off.

Something else demands your attention, and suddenly that thing you were so enthusiastic about gets pushed to the side.

And I think we've all been there.

That's why I believe consistency matters so much.

Not because we need to be doing something every single day, but because the things we do regularly have a way of adding up.

Think about your health.

You don't become stronger because you exercise really hard one Saturday and then you don't do anything else for the next three weeks.

It's the regular activity over time that makes the difference.

The same thing applies to learning something new, developing a skill, or working toward a personal goal.

And here's the part I think we sometimes overlook.

Consistency doesn't have to mean doing something big.

Sometimes it's 15 minutes, sometimes it's one small action.

Sometimes it's simply Showing up again after you've missed a few days.

Because I think we can get caught up in this idea that if we can't do something perfectly, I feel this way too.

We might as well not do it at all.

And that's a habit worth letting go of.

If you missed a workout you haven't failed.

If you don't make progress on your project this week, that doesn't mean you should abandon the whole thing.

You just pick it back up.

And sometimes that's one of the things people who accomplish their goals do differently.

They don't necessarily have more motivation than everybody else.

They just find ways to keep going after the initial excitement wears off.

Now, I want to add something here.

Being consistent doesn't mean we should constantly be pushing ourselves or filling every free moment with something productive.

Rest matters.

Enjoyment matters.

And sometimes choosing to do absolutely nothing is exactly what we need.

The point isn't to become busier.

It's to be intentional about the things that we've decided matter to us.

Because there's a big difference between being busy and actually making progress.

This is probably the part of the conversation that interests me the most, because I wonder how many of us have quietly started lowering our expectations of ourselves as we've gotten older.

Not necessarily because we want to, but because we started thinking certain opportunities are behind us.

Maybe we've always wanted to learn to play an instrument, but you think you're too old to start.

Maybe you'd love to take a solo trip, but you've convinced yourself you're not the kind of person who does things alone.

Maybe there's a project or idea you've been carrying around for years, but you keep thinking, who am I to do something like that?

And I want to ask, who says you can?

Now, I'm not suggesting that everybody needs to start a business, run a marathon, or accomplish something extraordinary.

Sometimes I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to make every season of life bigger and better than the last.

But I also don't believe that we should stop being curious about our own abilities.

One thing I've learned from getting older is that we have a tremendous amount of experience to draw from.

We've learned how to adapt.

We've learned how to solve problems.

We've learned that things don't always go according to plan, and we figured out how to keep moving anyway.

Those are valuable skills.

And sometimes we forget that the very experiences we've had over the years have prepared us for the things that we haven't even considered yet.

I think about my own Life.

And some of the things I've learned over the years.

There was a time when I didn't know anything about creating content or producing a podcast.

I certainly didn't start out knowing how to use all the equipment, edit videos, or figure out the technology that goes along with it.

And believe me, there are still some days when the technology and I are not on speaking terms.

But I've learned not everything at once, and definitely not without making mistakes.

I've learned by trying things, asking questions, getting frustrated, figuring something out, and then discovering there's something else that I need to learn.

And the interesting thing is that once you learn one thing, you start realizing there are other things you might be able to do, too.

That's what I mean when I say we may be capable of more than we realize.

It's not that we have some hidden superpower waiting to be discovered.

It's that sometimes we don't know what we can do until we give ourselves the opportunity to try.

And maybe that's a reminder we need.

In this season of life, we don't have to reinvent ourselves.

We don't have to become completely different women.

But we can continue building on who we already are.

Now, I don't want us to spend all this time talking about habits and potential and then walk away thinking, well, that was interesting, only to go back to doing exactly the same thing.

So I want to leave you with three questions, and I encourage you to really think about your answers.

First, what's something that you genuinely want to accomplish?

Not something you think you should do, not something your friends are doing, and not something that would look impressive on social media.

Something that matters to you.

Maybe it's improving your health.

Maybe it's becoming more comfortable with technology.

Maybe it's finally taking that class, writing that book, or developing a hobby that you've been interested in.

Whatever it is, make sure it's something that you actually want.

Because there's no point in working hard to accomplish a goal that doesn't mean anything to you.

Second, are your everyday habits helping you move toward that goal, or are they keeping you in the same place?

Now, this is where we start to be a little honest with ourselves.

Let's say you want to become more physically active, but every evening you tell yourself you're too tired to exercise.

Maybe the answer isn't forcing yourself into a workout at the end of the day.

Maybe it's finding a time that works better for you.

Or maybe you want to learn something new, but you spend an hour every evening scrolling through your Phone and listen.

I'm not judging anybody.

I enjoy a good scroll myself.

But perhaps some of that time could go towards something that you've been wanting to learn.

It's not always about finding more time.

Sometimes it's about looking at how we've been using the time that we already have.

And third, what's one small thing you can do this week?

Not next month, not when everything settles down, but this week?

If you want to take a class, look up the schedule.

If you want to improve your health, choose one activity you can realistically begin.

If you have an idea you've been thinking about, write down the first step and give yourself a date to do it.

And here's the important part.

Don't make your first step so big that you talk yourself out of it.

We're not trying to change our entire lives in seven days.

We're just trying to move from thinking about something to actually doing something.

But sometimes that first action is what helps us realize we're more capable than we thought.

So let's go back to the question we started with.

Why do some people seem to make things happen while others don't?

I don't think there's one simple answer.

Some people have more resources, more support, or opportunities that others haven't had.

Some have developed skills and habits that make it easier for them to follow through.

And sometimes, if we're being honest, we may be getting in our own way.

But here's what I hope you take away from today's conversation.

You don't have to be the most talented person in the room.

You don't have to have everything figured out.

You certainly don't have to be 25 years old to start working towards something that matters to you.

Sometimes you just have to be willing to begin.

Develop a few new habits that support what you want and give yourself permission to learn along the way.

And one more thing.

If you're happy with where you are in life, that's wonderful.

There's no rule that says you have to keep chasing another goal or accomplishment.

But if there's something that you've been wanting to do, something you keep thinking about, I don't want you to dismiss it simply because you think it's too late or you're not capable.

You might surprise yourself.

So here's my question for you this week.

What's one thing you've been saying you want to do but actually haven't taken a step toward?

And what would happen if you finally took that first step?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

You can find me on Instagram at iamvaleriehatcher and let's continue the conversation.

And if today's episode made you think of a girlfriend who has been talking about doing something for years, share it with her.

Maybe this is the little nudge she needs.

Thank you so much for spending part of your day with me.

And until next time, remember, aging is not a curse, it's 100% a blessing.

Let's chat again next week.

Have a good one.

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