The Older I Get, The Less Impressed I Am

The older I get, the less impressed I am.

There, I said it.

There is a time when certain things really impressed me.

Titles.

Fancy cars, big houses.

People who seem to know everybody.

People who were always busy, always going somewhere, always doing something important.

Now you know what impresses me?

Somebody who gets eight hours of sleep.

Somebody who has a good number with their blood pressure.

Somebody who can mind their own business.

Somebody with a drama.

Free group chat.

That woman, she has made it.

I want to know her secrets.

I don't think it's because I've become cynical as I've gotten older.

At least I hope not.

I think I've just lived long enough to realize it's some of the things that look impressive from the outside don't necessarily make for a life I'd actually want to live.

And maybe that's one of the underrated gifts of getting older.

Your definition of what matters starts to change.

Living our best life.

It's good to be alive, but it's best to truly live.

Let your spirit fly.

So celebrate the journey every single day.

Aging with grace and style in our own special way.

Welcome to Aging with Grace and Style, the podcast for women who are navigating this season of life with confidence, curiosity, and a little bit of humor.

Because quite frankly, some of this stuff is really funny.

I'm Valerie Hatcher, and around here we talk about what it really looks like to get older, to keep growing, to create a life that feels good to you, not just one that looks good to everybody else.

So grab your coffee, go for your walk, get comfortable, or just do whatever you're doing while you listen to.

Because today we're talking about the things that just don't impress us the way they used to, and maybe more importantly, the things that do.

Because here's what I've noticed.

The smoke and the mirrors don't work quite as well on you once you've lived a little.

We've seen enough.

We've watched people have the impressive title and be absolutely miserable.

We've seen the beautiful relationship on social media that wasn't quite, quite so beautiful behind closed doors.

We've watched people accumulate all the things and still not seem to be particularly happy.

And we've probably chased a few things ourselves that we eventually discovered weren't nearly as important as we thought they were going to be.

So I started thinking what actually impresses me now?

And let me tell you, my list has changed.

Let's start with status.

I spent a lot of years in corporate America, so of course titles mattered, promotions mattered, recognition mattered.

You worked hard because you wanted to move up.

You wanted people to see that you were capable.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with ambition.

I still admire ambitious people.

But I think the difference now is that I'm less likely to be impressed simply because someone has an impressive title.

Now I want more information.

You have a big title.

Wonderful.

Do you like your life?

Can you go on vacation without checking Your email every 15 minutes?

Can you have dinner with your family without your phone sitting beside the plate?

Do you have time for anything besides work?

Are you sleeping?

Because somewhere along the way, I think many of us were taught that the more important you were, the less available you should be for your own life.

Busy meant successful.

Exhausted meant important.

Having no time meant everybody needed you.

And we wore some of that like a badge of honor.

How are you, girl?

I am busy.

Somehow busy became an acceptable personality.

Somebody tells me that they had absolutely nothing to do Saturday.

I'm impressed.

Tell me more.

What was that like?

Did you wear pajamas?

Did you take a nap?

Because these days, having control over your time looks a whole lot more successful to me.

Me Than having a calendar so full that you can't breathe.

That doesn't mean we stop having goals.

It doesn't mean ambition disappears.

I think we're just more likely to ask, what is this success costing me?

And that's the question I don't know that we've always asked when we were younger.

Now, let's talk about stuff.

Because I am not about to sit here and pretend I have suddenly become a woman who doesn't like nice things.

We know better than that.

I like a cute outfit.

I like a nice bag.

Boy, do I like a nice bag.

I appreciate a beautiful home.

And if somebody wants to hand me the keys to a beautiful luxury car, I'm not going to say no, thank you.

I've evolved.

Let's not take this episode too far.

But here's what has changed.

I'm not automatically impressed because something is expensive.

I'm much more interested in whether you actually enjoy it.

I've reached a point where I don't want to own things simply because they're supposed to say something about me.

And I certainly don't want to spend money I don't have trying to impress people who probably aren't paying nearly as much attention to me as I think they are.

That's another wonderful realization that comes with age.

People really aren't thinking about us that much.

They're thinking about themselves.

And once you realize that, freedom.

Wear the outfit, drive the car, decorate Your house, take the trip, Buy the bag if you want the bag, but do it because you like it, not because you're hoping somebody else will assist.

Assign a certain value to you because you have it.

These days, I'm more impressed by somebody who knows what she likes.

She doesn't need it to be the most expensive.

She doesn't need everybody else to approve it.

She likes it.

That's enough.

There's a confidence in that that I really appreciate now.

Now here's something that has moved way up my impressive list.

Peace.

Peace is impressive.

Somebody who doesn't have to respond to everything.

Impressive.

Somebody who can disagree with another person without it turning into World War Three.

Very impressive.

Somebody who doesn't need to know everybody's business.

Extreme.

Extremely impressive.

Because when you're younger, sometimes drama can almost feel exciting.

By this age?

Absolutely not.

I don't want a friendship where every week there's an imaginary emergency.

I don't want to leave lunch emotionally exhausted because we just spent two hours dissecting everybody else's life.

And I definitely don't want to spend three days trying to figure out what somebody meant by a text message.

If you meant something, please use your words.

We are grown.

I don't have time or energy to read minds.

Peace has become valuable because we've learned with chaos cost.

And I think that's true in relationships, too.

At one point, having a huge social circle might have seemed impressive.

Knowing everybody, being invited everywhere, always having somewhere to go.

Now, give me good people I don't need 50.

Give me people who can celebrate with me without competing with me.

People I can call when life isn't pretty.

People who tell me the truth but don't use I'm just being honest as an excuse to be mean.

People I can laugh with, people I don't have to perform around, people who don't require a recovery period after spending time with them.

That's impressive.

And maybe that's part of getting older, too.

We're less interested in quantity and much more interested in quality.

So if title stuff, busyness and appearances aren't as impressive as they once were, then what is?

You know what I notice now?

Kindness.

Especially kindness when there's absolutely nothing to gain from it.

I notice how people treat servers, how they treat the person cleaning the building, how they treat someone who can't do anything for them.

That impresses me.

People who keep their word impresses me.

People who can apologize impresses me.

And I don't mean I'm sorry you felt that way.

That's not an apology.

I mean, somebody who can say, I was wrong.

I shouldn't have done that.

I'm sorry.

Do you know how much maturity that takes?

I'm impressed by people who are still curious.

People who are 60, 70, 80 years old and still learning something new, still traveling somewhere they've never been, still asking questions, still changing their minds when they get new information, still excited about something that impresses me.

I'm impressed by people who take care of themselves, not because they're trying to look 30, but because they want to be able to live their lives.

I'm impressed by strength, energy, mobility, people who are intentional about their health because there are things they still want to do.

I'm impressed by people who have built lives they don't constantly need to escape from.

And I'm increasingly impressed by ordinary happiness.

Somebody sitting on her patio with a cup of coffee, genuinely enjoying her morning.

A couple that's been together forever and still likes each other.

A woman who laughs easily.

A person who isn't constantly looking over at somebody else's life, wondering whether theirs measures up.

None of that is flashy.

But goodness, it looks good to me.

And I think that's what's underneath this whole conversation.

Maybe we're not becoming harder to impress.

Maybe we're becoming clearer about what's actually valuable.

Because life has a way of teaching you the difference between what looks good and.

And what feels good.

Between being admired and being fulfilled, between having a lot of people around you and having real relationships, between being needed and being loved, between being busy and actually living.

And once you know the difference, it's hard to unknow it.

Which brings me to a question that I really want you to think about.

What are you still trying to make look impressive that you don't even want anymore?

Phew.

Sit with that one.

Because sometimes we're still pursuing things based on an old definition of success.

Maybe it's a position you once desperately wanted.

Maybe it's keeping up an image.

Maybe it's maintaining a lifestyle.

Maybe it's being the person who does everything for everybody.

Maybe it's staying incredibly busy because slowing down makes you wonder whether you're still relevant.

Maybe it's something you haven't even stopped long enough to question.

We can spend years trying to reach a destination only to discover that somewhere along the way, we changed.

And that's okay.

You don't have to keep wanting something simply because an earlier version of you wanted it.

So here's a little assignment, and I promise I'm not turning this fun episode into homework.

But think about what impresses you now.

Not what's supposed to impress you, but what actually does.

What qualities make you think I want more of that in my life?

Maybe it's peace.

Maybe it's freedom.

Maybe it's health.

Maybe it's someone who has beautiful relationships.

Maybe it's confidence.

Maybe it's generosity.

Maybe it's someone who has figured out how to enjoy her life without needing everybody else to be impressed by it.

And then you ask yourself something.

Does the life I'm building reflect the things I say I value now?

Because that's really the opportunity we have at this age.

We get to update the list.

We get to say that mattered to me then, that this matters to me now.

No apology necessary.

So, yes, the older I get, the less impressed I am.

But maybe that's not quite right.

Because I'm still impressed.

I'm just impressed by different things.

I'm impressed by peace.

I'm impressed by integrity.

I'm impressed by someone who knows herself.

I'm impressed by people who can laugh at themselves.

I'm impressed by women who are still interested in their own lives.

I'm impressed by people who have learned that they don't have to prove everything, attend everything, buy everything, know everybody, or be everything.

And yes, I remain extremely impressed by anyone consistently getting eight hours of sleep.

Sleep is so important.

If that's you, then please contact me immediately.

We need to talk.

But seriously, maybe one of the gifts of getting older is realizing that an impressive life and a meaningful life aren't necessarily the same thing.

And if I had to choose, I'm going with meaningful every single time.

So here's my question for you this week.

What impresses you?

Now, that wouldn't have impressed the younger version of you at all?

I'd really love to hear your answers to that one, because I have a feeling we're going to have some of the same ones.

Thanks for spending time with me today.

If you enjoyed this episode and it made you think of another woman who has reached that wonderful stage where she's just a little harder to impress, share it with her.

And if you want a little more help figuring out what still fits and impresses you, I've got something for you.

It's called the Midlife Reset, and it's completely free.

Just pop your email in@ValerieHatcher.com and it's yours.

A few simple tools to help you navigate this season with a little more clarity and confidence.

So that you're not just reflecting today, you're actually moving forward with it.

Before you go, don't forget to follow the podcast and leave a rating or a review.

It helps more women find these conversations and become part of our community.

I'll see you next Tuesday, sunshine.

And remember this aging is not a curse.

It is absolutely 100% a blessing.

We'll talk soon.

Thanks for hanging out with me today.

If you love this episode, do me a favor, Share it with a friend and leave a quick review.

It's a small thing that makes a big difference.

Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

And hey, let's keep the conversation going.

Join me at pod.agingwithgraceinstyle.com for more tips, stories and a whole lot of connection.

Until next time, keep shining with grace, style and a touch of sass.